"I've already given you some," Luke points out gently. "But the point is... they'll have different ideas from you." He pauses. "You could talk to Ford, too."
Luke shakes his head. "Then tell me why you came here," he says kindly, not thinking it worth pointing out that he doesn't think they'd been fighting--but he doesn't want to argue about that, either. "You're upset over what Ford's graduation means, about what your relationship with him means, given your history. So. What are your feelings telling you?"
"THAT I'M CONFUSED! AND THAT I HAVE TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME. I CAN'T TRY TO TAKE ON A WHOLE DIMENSION BY MYSELF. PEOPLE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP ME AND HAVE GOOD IDEAS! I'M ALSO REALLY ANGRY, I'M REALLY AGITATED! BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO WITH!"
Bill takes his hat off to rub at his point. All of this is true. There are other feelings in there that Bill's limited emotional intelligence can't quite label - he's in mourning, for his own life. He's frustrated. He's rethinking his entire policy on considering himself a smart or competent guy. The anger he feels is at himself, at the universe, at the Admiral, at the Axolotl, at Ford and Stan and the Pines, at everybody, but mostly the first two. Bill has never processed his own death in any meaningful way and now it's back to punch him.
"You're gonna hate this answer," he says helpfully, "but I think... I think all that is okay." He raises a hand. "I don't mean that what happened is okay, or that it's fun to feel those things. But I think... these are normal things to feel given... everything. Sometimes you really just have to feel stuff and there's nothing to do about it in the moment except feel it."
"I'm not saying you have to go sit in a corner and feel awful all the time," he says, trying to be gentle though he knows that he'd also hate what he's saying. "But it's one of those things I think you never learned. Like healing a body part. It takes time."
"Sometimes," Luke agrees affably, because that's his chief weapon against Bill's adamance. "But maybe you should take some ownership. Make this into what you need it to be."
"NO, I MEAN, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S - STILL FEELING BAD! WHY CAN'T I JUST FEEL BAD BRIEFLY, SAY I GET IT, AND THEN WE'RE DONE! IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DRAG OUT!"
What IS he going to do?
"I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA. GOING TO TALK TO FORD, PROBABLY, SEE WHAT HE WANTS TO DO. THEN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HECK I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE."
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neverjoinyou) wrote2026-04-05 02:51 pm![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
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"LEMME REWIND! I THINK I TOOK A WRONG TURN. I DIDN'T COME HERE TO PICK A FIGHT!"
He got jealous, is what he did, and now they're sort of being prickly at each other and he just wants that to stop happening.
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Bill takes his hat off to rub at his point. All of this is true. There are other feelings in there that Bill's limited emotional intelligence can't quite label - he's in mourning, for his own life. He's frustrated. He's rethinking his entire policy on considering himself a smart or competent guy. The anger he feels is at himself, at the universe, at the Admiral, at the Axolotl, at Ford and Stan and the Pines, at everybody, but mostly the first two. Bill has never processed his own death in any meaningful way and now it's back to punch him.
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"You're gonna hate this answer," he says helpfully, "but I think... I think all that is okay." He raises a hand. "I don't mean that what happened is okay, or that it's fun to feel those things. But I think... these are normal things to feel given... everything. Sometimes you really just have to feel stuff and there's nothing to do about it in the moment except feel it."
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feeling bad? its bad. he'd like that to stop.
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He's very adamant about this but it's not actually an argument.
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BUT, JEEZ, I GOT THE POINT ALREADY! I'M OVER THIS, LET'S MOVE ON!"
Emotions don't work like that, Bill.
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"We don't have to talk about it anymore," Luke offers. "But I would like you to tell me what you're going to do."
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What IS he going to do?
"I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA. GOING TO TALK TO FORD, PROBABLY, SEE WHAT HE WANTS TO DO. THEN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HECK I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE."
Gross
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"You don't need to figure it all out today," he suggests. "Maybe... one step at a time. Go talk to Ford."