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[neverjoinyou]

Leave a message. I will hear you.

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[tetractys]

[In theory, he can fly. In practice, he's hammered.]

WE DID THIS ONE ALREADY, [Bill whines.] YEAH, I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW. I'VE DONE... ALMOST EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF.

[He glares down at his new drink.]

SNART THINKS I SHOULD GET THE ADMIRAL TO TURN ME HUMAN.

[The amount that he Does Not want to do this is apparent, but he also thinks he might be running out of other options.]

[neverjoinyou]

It doesn't sound like that's what you want. [Luke knows there's a bit of going in circles with this, but he's not sure what he's doing. That much, he's never denied.]

And you've tried to figure out how to get out of here, how to pretend to be what someone wants. I say... we stop that. I say we just figure out who you are, without that goal. Bill... do you have any friends? I mean people you'd call friends.

[tetractys]

WHAT?

[He blinks, bleary.]

I HAVE HENCHMEN, THEY'RE GREAT. NOT THAT ANY OF THEM ARE GONNA SEE ME AGAIN. THEY'RE PROBABLY ALREADY EATING EACH OTHER. DUMMIES.

[He's fond of that gang of inter-dimensional cannibals and demons.]

[neverjoinyou]

[Sounds nice.]

Okay. Well. That's... good. I guess. Are there any... is there anyone you, ah, feel... closer to, than most?

[tetractys]

I MEAN THEY'RE KINDA INTERCHANGEABLE, ISN'T THAT WHAT HENCHMEN ARE FOR?

[He squints.]

I GUESS 8-BALL IS OKAY. HE JUST DOES THINGS WHEN I TELL HIM. I DON'T HAVE TO MICROMANAGE!

[neverjoinyou]

[Luke rubs his eyes.]

Okay, well, henchmen aside, ah... no one else? No one here, maybe? Or someone you know who isn't a henchman?

[tetractys]

UUUUUUUH. I THINK I'M MICK RORY'S FRIEND, ACTUALLY. WEIRD, RIGHT?

[not that weird, they both like drinking and fire.]

[neverjoinyou]

[Not really.]

Why do you say that? I mean, why is it weird?

[tetractys]

I DON'T KNOW! I THINK I WANTED HIM FOR SOMETHING AND THEN I JUST FORGOT TO STOP BEING NICE TO HIM.

[neverjoinyou]

[Luke is definitely NOT smiling. On the outside, anyway.]

That happens, sometimes. [He thinks of Han, and it's not the same thing at all but it's not utterly unlike, either.] So, can you tell me about him?

[tetractys]

UUUUUGH, YOU KNOW HIM, HE'S THE ONE WITH THE BUZZ CUT THAT COMES IN A MATCHED SET WITH THE OTHER ONE WITH THE BUZZ CUT.

[neverjoinyou]

Oh, I know who you mean. I'm asking you to tell me about him.

[tetractys]

YEAH, BUT WHY??

[All this stuff where people want him to DO things without telling him WHY is something he's hit the end of his rope about.]

[neverjoinyou]

Friends are important. Friends are one of the things that help remind us who we are and why we're here. And because I care about you, I want to know about the people you care about. I want to know how you feel about them.

[tetractys]

I KNOW WHO I AM, [Bill sulks.]

LOOK. HE SAYS 'I set the library on fire,' AND I SAY 'COOL!'

AND THEN I SAY 'HEY, I'VE BEEN LYING ABOUT MY HISTORY AND MY NAME AND ALSO I'M FROM A NIGHTMARE DIMENSION' AND HE GOES 'Okay, let's watch a movie where something explodes.' AND THEN WE DO. AND WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT ANY MORE! UNLIKE THIS. WHICH IS UNCOMFORTABLE!

[neverjoinyou]

[Luke raises a hand.]

Okay, okay. Sorry. I just... thanks. That sounds nice. [He's learning to see that in relative terms, ok.] I'm not going to try to make you do anything you don't understand. I'm not going to try to force you to behave in a way that doesn't make sense, just because you think that's what the Admiral's looking for. I want to concentrate on the things you like to do. That aren't... hurting people.

[tetractys]

[This is entirely counterintuitive to the logic of how any of this is supposed to go.]

WHAT'S THAT GONNA ACCOMPLISH?

[neverjoinyou]

I don't know, yet. I'm not working towards a specific goal. Does that bother you?

[tetractys]

WHAT! YES.

[Bill struggles into a sitting position.]

HEY, I SAID IF I DON'T FIGURE THIS OUT I DIE, RIGHT? I SAID THAT!

[neverjoinyou]

Well, you said you were going to kill somebody. Did you mean yourself?

[tetractys]

WHAT!

[Literally what are these nonsense words, Luke]

EVERYONE ELSE.

[neverjoinyou]

[He's so confused.]

I understand that... that this is a second chance for you. But I'm not sure there's a timer on it. So you saying that you need to figure this out... I don't think you need to this minute. And I'm pretty sure that killing anyone here, let alone everyone, would get in the way of that.

[tetractys]

I NEED TO FIGURE IT OUT AS SOON AS I CAN, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHEN THE ADMIRAL'S GONNA DECIDE I'M NOT ENTERTAINING ENOUGH AND CUT ME LOOSE!

[neverjoinyou]

I understand that concern. And Bill... I know it doesn't seem like it, but I really do think that trying to work on being you, having friends... I think that'll get you farther than trying to pretend you're something you're not. I know that there's part of you that likes things. I want you to discover what those are.

[tetractys]

[Bill squints at the ceiling for awhile, like he's trying to process this through the haze of eggnog.]

I LIKE DESTROYING CIVILIZATIONS.

[the least helpful answer, thank you so much]