neverjoinyou | lastvoyages IC Inbox

[Ford grimaces, and his eyes dart off to the side.

It's embarrassment. The expression on Ford's face is anxious embarrassment.]

I've already said all there is to say about it. I was a fool, and he tricked me -- played on my ambition, made me mistrust my friends. It was the worst mistake of my life.

I've told my family all about it and wrote it out in the third journal. Isn't that enough?

[Luke thinks back to some of the advice he'd received in his time here. About dealing with the past.]

Okay. But let me ask you this--how long ago did that happen? Are you over it?

[Ford opens his mouth, but it's not clear if he's about to say of course or of course not!

A pause. Then, more quietly:]

I'm...trying to be.

I'll never forget what he did, to me and my family. I'll certainly never forgive him! But, for the sake of the progress he's made, I've tried to move past it. To not let it get in the way.

[He looks at Luke and gives a shrug. Sincerely and without malice, he asks:]

What good will it do here?

[Dragging up old grudges over a ruined life -- ruined lives -- isn't going to help anyone.]

I do appreciate that. [Luke is utterly sincere--he's impressed, actually, with how civil Ford's been.] But right now, I'm not even talking about the benefit to Bill. I'm talking about something that bothers you so much that you want to deny it happened. I'm talking about how it might benefit you to... to have someone else understand.

[He leans back, flushing slightly.]

Then again, I don't have a choice about having my secrets broadcast to everyone, so maybe I shouldn't talk.

[Oh, ouch. Luke has the winning card there as far as broadcasting secrets is concerned. Ford gives a wince.]

Give it a few more floods, and they might as well have been.

Anyway, I'm not denying anything that happened, I just don't want to talk about it.

I'm sorry. [Luke raises his hands.]

Honestly, I didn't mean to pry.

[Ford gives a sigh, the kind of resigned-but-slightly-apologetic sigh that means he knows it's not Luke's fault.]

I know. It's not your fault.

It's this darn Barge, letting you think it's safe to dream behind an access filter and then ripping out the rug from under you as soon as the right flood hits.

Yeah. It's always nicer when it's just kissing people you don't know.

[Ford shudders.]

Yes, well, the less said about that, the better.

Anyway, at least this one's avoided a bit more easily than some of the others.

[Well, shit. He hadn't meant for that to land with quite that thunk, but oh well.]

Uh... how, exactly? By not... sleeping?

Precisely! I can put on a pot of coffee for you too, if you like.

Ford...

[Luke stops himself, rubbing his face. He's not going to win this argument, at least not like this.]

Actually, I'd love some coffee.

[Ford seems to notice exactly none of Luke's frustration.]

Excellent. Come by my cabin. I'll have enough for two people ready by then.

[Luke nods and signs off, smiling slightly because the word 'coffee' is still funny and cutesy to him, but he sobers soon enough when he reflects on the dream. And, even more, Ford's response. He's sorry he pried, however inadvertent, but now that he knows, he's pretty sure there's something here other than Ford being chagrined over past errors.

But he won't say any of that, at least not right off the bat. Instead, he'll head to Ford's room, which he's been meaning to do anyway for awhile, what with everything they've been through.]

Thanks, [he'll say when Ford opens the door and lets him in.] I guess eventually I need to learn how to make the stuff.

I could put together one of your own, if you like.

[The machine Ford pulls a coffeepot out from under is...homemade. It's blocky and has blinky dials and a LCD clock. It certainly does the trick of heating water and sending it through grounds and a coffee filter, and unlike, say, a french press, this one has a timer.

He pours two mugs of steaming caffienated bean water and passes one to Luke.]

You could. [But Luke examines the machine as he wraps his hand around the mug, peering at it from several angles.] But that would take the fun away from me.

[Ford waves a hand unconcernedly.]

Eh, suit yourself.

[He settles on the sectional that serves as a bed, pushing the blanket that lets it serve its dual purpose off to the side. He doesn't have any objection to Luke looking the machine over and makes no move to stop him.]

[Luke glances over briefly, worried he's offended Ford by refusing the gift--but the truth is, he likes to tinker, too. And it's been awhile since he's built anything other than a weapon or an engine. He wanders over with his mug, perching on the edge of the bed on the other end.]

What else is new?

[Plenty.]

Well, I'm working on a hydroponic garden out in the greenhouse with Laura.

[Luke shakes his head, chuckling to himself.]

No matter how far I get from Tatooine, water just being a thing you can use for, well, anything still seems crazy.

I grew up right by the beach, so...the constant presence of vast quantities of water was something I took for granted. Stan and I used to play by the ocean all the time!

[...ah. It's no sooner out of his mouth then Ford regrets it a little -- not because he's trying to hide it, but because thinking of Stan causes a sharp uptick in the amount of loneliness Ford's been feeling. Ow, whoops. Better not to bring Stan up.]

[Luke smiles gently.]

You two... didn't overlap here, did you?

No, we didn't.

[Luke nods, and takes a sip of coffee. Noting, perhaps belatedly, the terse answer and the tension.]

I haven't been as... available as I should. [It's not quite a change of subject, but object.] So what else have you built, or discovered?

[Ford leans back against the couch and sighs.]

Oh, this and that. Having a precision instrument for analyzing matter helps with just about everything. I did put together a comprehensive multidimensional ruleset for Dungeons, Dungeons & More Dungeons. Played a short campaign.

[That had been fun! Ford's thinking about running that game, and how fun it had been. He's focusing on this a little bit deliberately, since there are other things he doesn't want to think about.]

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