neverjoinyou | lastvoyages IC Inbox

[She expected this to be terrible. That he would consider her not worth the risk, not worth the pain of watching her be not what he wanted her to be, and that this one act would have him washing his hands of her entirely. That he might see a reason to turn his back on her.

It has nothing to do with what she thinks of Luke as a person and everything to do with what she knows Jedi are supposed to be. They're supposed to control these impulses, supposed to not feel things so strongly, but that's all she's done her entire life. Her emotions are such a integral part of her that she worries sometimes she just can't be a Jedi. Not if it means giving up who she is.

But he doesn't. He just wants her to understand the same way she had wanted him to and she can do that, she can take the time to get there if it's difficult but thankfully, under these circumstances, it's not. Everything he says back is fair, it all makes sense.

There's no escaping the sting that comes with being compared to Kylo Ren and Darth Vader, though. It's absurd to her to be compared to someone her inmate is terrified of when there had been a part of her that was hitting the Bull just a little harder for Alfie's sake. It's honestly something she may never forget, never be okay with, that Luke thinks of her like that, but what can she do? She knows her heart. She knows she can stop, that she will never be like those men.

If Luke can't see that, that isn't her failing.]

I understand. I'm not good at explaining things either, but I understand what you mean. Thank you.

[He doesn't think he's comparing them. Or if he is, it's an extremity to show that he can't possibly judge someone like her when he hasn't judged people guilty of a million times worse. But maybe that's a nuance, and anyway, it's one he's unaware of at the moment.]

When you're ready, when you want to talk... I'll be here. Or wherever you want.

I trust you, Rey.

[He doesn't trust that something like this won't happen again. But he does now trust her to talk to him. And he's always trusted that she was a good person.

Even if, right now, it's a lot to work through.]

I need some time. A day or two.

[To sort through what she feels, but honestly it's mostly just to heal. She isn't in much pain but she doesn't want to be seen with a giant bruise on her face that will remind everyone what she's done.

Mostly, she doesn't want anyone to look at her and worry about her when someone else was brutally murdered.]

Please be safe. We must be getting close to whatever is coming.

Don't worry about me. I know Han's a special case, but if anything happens to me, I don't want ANYONE doing anything.

Besides. Nothing will happen to me.

[Honestly the last thing Luke needs is to think Rey would avenge him. Then again, he's not sure he rates that in her books.]

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