lastvoyages IC Inbox

[neverjoinyou]

Leave a message. I will hear you.

Comments

[tetractys]

Bill huffs.

"YEAH."

But it's complicated, isn't it?

[neverjoinyou]

"So basically, you're mad because there are social consequences to your actions and you don't like it."

He lets that hang there.

[tetractys]

"I'M MAD FOR A LOT OF REASONS!

NOBODY CARES THAT I KILLED AL. THEY CARE THAT I CAST THAT SPELL AND MADE A PORTAL. BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU ASKED!"

[neverjoinyou]

Luke shrugs.

"What I asked isn't really the point," he says. "I'm trying to get you to understand why people are reacting this way. Because this is part of living in a society and having free will. You sort of have to deal with the consequences. Am I wrong?"

i spy a boy 👀

[tetractys]

"I DO, BUT - "

Bill is having trouble articulating and makes little fists in frustration.

"LISTEN! I DIDN'T HAVE OTHER OPTIONS FOR BUILDING THE PORTAL. NOBODY BELIEVED ME WHEN I BROUGHT IT UP - NOBODY EVEN BELIEVES ME NOW!"

[neverjoinyou]

"I think you need to stop making so many assumptions," Luke offers. "About your options. About what people believe, or feel. About what they want. You're so used to being the only one who knows anything, the only one with any power. But that's not sustainable, as we know. You can't go around just deciding things for everyone else and then expecting them to accept it when they haven't been asked, and it hasn't been explained, and you just keep yelling at them over and over!"

[tetractys]

"THEY DON'T LISTEN!"

[neverjoinyou]

"Is it that they don't listen? Or that they don't understand, or don't agree, and you're just saying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?"

[tetractys]

Bill huffs - it sounds like radio static instead of air, but the emotion is clear enough.

"FINE. THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND, AND THEY DON'T BELIEVE ME, AND THEY NEVER HAVE."

[neverjoinyou]

Luke just stares at him for a moment.

"I believe you," he says quietly.

[tetractys]

"HHGH, THANKS..."

That's sincere. It matters. It does. But the amount of people that don't can easily make both of their lives much much harder.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY LIKE ME! IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF THEY THINK I'M RIGHT. I WASN'T. BUT IT DOES MATTER THAT THEY DON'T CARE IF I WAS RIGHT OR NOT."

[neverjoinyou]

His point hadn't just been about himself--it was about how if you actually tried, instead of just yelling, maybe you'd get somewhere. But he gives this latest issue some thought, because yeah, that does sound frustrating.

"I don't know that they don't care," he says slowly. "I think it might be that... you distracted the message with a whole bunch of other stuff they cared about more. The problem wasn't that you tried to solve a problem that concerned your, and maybe everyone's, existence. It's that you did it in a way that affected other people negatively and didn't tell them and expect them to be grateful. They're not gonna be grateful, because all they know is that you messed up the ship and gave them some scary memories and couldn't be stopped until someone killed your warden."

[tetractys]

Bill huffs.

"THAT'S NOT ALL THEY KNOW! I TOLD THEM THE REST, SO DID FORD!"

Why Doesn't Everyone Prioritize The Same Things As Me

[neverjoinyou]

Luke sighs.

"I know," he says, with admirable patience. "But you don't control how people hear it, or what they're coming into it with, or how they react. You can only put it out there, as best you can. I don't expect everyone to understand why I saved Anakin Skywalker. Maybe they all should believe me, side with me, but that's just not how things work. People have to be allowed to think differently than you, or soon, you're back to lording over a domain of one. That's what I'm trying to get you to understand. This was never going to end in a parade with everyone thinking you were right. Even if you were."

[tetractys]

"I DON'T... WANT TO LORD OVER A DOMAIN."

Grumble grumble. (Yes you do, Bill, don't fucking lie.)

Luke has a point.

"BUT I'M ALLOWED TO BE MAD AT THEM, TOO. AND I DON'T HAVE TO ADMIT THEY'RE RIGHT, EITHER, IF THEY'RE NOT GONNA DO THE SAME FOR ME."

[neverjoinyou]

"Oh, sure," Luke says, nodding. "Be mad. Okay. Just... try to understand why. Why you're mad, why they're mad. It doesn't make it right, but it helps me, anyway, to understand. I don't want you to admit they're right. I want you to... admit they have a right to an opinion."

[tetractys]

Another huff.

"FINE... FINE. SURE."

[neverjoinyou]

"Yeah?" Luke tilts his head, and on impulse, holds out his hand. "Are you fine?"

[tetractys]

Bill looks at the hand. Okay. Okay. He's trying. Communicate. Bill takes his fingertips briefly in his teeny little muppet hand, then lets go.

"NO. I'M FRUSTRATED. I DID THIS AS RIGHT AS I KNEW HOW TO DO IT, AND IT DIDN'T MATTER. THEY JUST TOOK IT ALL APART. THEY JUST KILLED YOU, AND HURT FORD, AND ARE TRYING TO GET YOU DEMOTED. AND SOMEONE SHOULD BE MAD ABOUT IT, SO IT HAS TO BE ME."

[neverjoinyou]

Luke's hand drops, and he nods.

"Yeah," he agrees. "And that sucks. People aren't always going to understand. Sometimes it's because you're wrong, at least partly. Sometimes it's because they're not ready. Sometimes it's for a totally different reason. But what we have to do is try our best to figure it out. And do better next time."

What he's trying to say is, it does matter.

"Be mad," he says, though a voice whispers in his ear that anger is the path to the Dark Side, "but don't let it consume you. Don't let it guide your actions."

[tetractys]

Ugggh, that's good advice. Bill has made more mistakes when he's lost his temper ...

"WHAT'S... THE POINT OF EVEN TRYING IF PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO CARE EITHER WAY?"

[neverjoinyou]

"How long have you been alive?" Luke asks dubiously. "It's not all or nothing. It's not your one chance to do something, good or bad. It's one try."

[tetractys]

"THEY DIDN'T CARE WHEN YOU TRIED, EITHER."

[neverjoinyou]

He frowns.

"I spent years fighting a rebellion," he says. "And I've spent a few years on this ship, convincing people you're worth it. And guess what?" He gestures up towards the Barge. "At least some of them agree with me, including the guy who decided I was worth bringing back. And you, too. So don't give me this 'nothing matters' crap. Don't make me have to argue that my dying actually meant something."

[tetractys]

"NO, NO. NO. I WON'T."

Bill's grip on his own wrist tightens, and he stares back at the ship like he's trying to bore a hole in it.

"YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE PEOPLE TO TREAT YOU BETTER, BUT THEY WON'T."