neverjoinyou | lastvoyages IC Inbox

YOU ASKED IF I HAD SOMETHING I WANTED TO TELL YOU! USUALLY THAT MEANS I'VE BEEN DOING EVIL STUFF! I HAVEN'T, I JUST APOLOGIZED TO FORD EVEN!

If I've given you the impression I always thing you're doing something wrong, I thought we were past that.

I contacted you because I felt that you were happy, and I assumed something nice had happened, and I assumed it had something to do with Ford and wanted to grin stupidly at you about it.

But now I have to worry about a knife.

LOOK, I HANDED IT OFF TO SOMEONE WHEN WE WERE GOING INTO A BOARD GAME TO FIGHT MONSTERS. THAT'S THE ONLY TIME IT'S GOTTEN USED! IF YOU WANT IT YOU CAN HAVE IT.

I don't WANT your knife, Bill. I kinda want you not to be handing them out, and the fact you thought of it when I asked what was going on is troubling.

AWWW, I HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE MAD AT ME. I GAVE IT TO A WARDEN, I JUST DIDN'T WANT THE GUY GETTING EATEN THAT'S ALL.

I'm not mad at you! I was actually pretty pleased until you started acting guilty about knives.

[There is a pause.]

Okay I'm going to switch to video and then we're going to start over, okay?

[VIDEO]

Hey Bill. How's it going?

[Bill has wound himself the fuck up and now looks wary.]

HELLO.

[His hand goes around behind his eye, like he's rubbing the back of his head.]

I FORGET HOW THINGS WERE GOING WHEN WE STARTED THIS! FINE, I GUESS. A LITTLE BETTER!

[Luke smiles with reassurance! Really!]

Hey! I heard you talked to Ford. How'd that go?

[Bill perks up; his eye pulls into a tall, happy oval.]

IT WENT WELL! FORD'S GREAT. WE MISSED EACH OTHER. ... I REALLY WASN'T BEING FAIR TO HIM, PULLING ALL THIS, BUT HE TOOK IT WELL. HE ALWAYS TAKES IT WELL, FORD IS GREAT.

[Luke's starting to get that little vicariously giddy glow back in his gut.]

Wait. You weren't being fair breaking up with him?

I WASN'T BEING FAIR TELLING HIM HE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME.

[That shit was probably hurtful :/]

No. That's true. Especially since it was a lie--even if you weren't sure, yourself.

Where did you leave things?

I THINK WE'RE BACK WHERE WE WERE! BUT DIFFERENT. A, A COUPLE DIFFERENT PEOPLE TOLD ME I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM, AND I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE, BUT IT'S MESSING WITH MY HEAD, LUKE.

HIS CABIN STILL CREEPS ME OUT.

[Luke grins. Of course he's in love with him.]

I'm happy for you. I'm... yes. I'm glad you spoke to him.

[hes not ready to commit to that statement!!]

WELL, THAT'S GOOD, IT... PROBABLY MEANS I DIDN'T MAKE A BAD MISTAKE.

I THINK IT JUST GOT TOO MUCH TRYING TO FIGURE OUT- [sigh.] BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. TRYING NOT TO BE BAD FOR FORD, OR RUIN HIS FRIENDSHIPS, AND ALSO TRYING NOT TO CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. OR TRYING TO TREAT HIM LIKE AN EQUAL WHEN I DIDN'T THINK OF HIM AS ONE?

You can't overthink it, Bill. I mean, yes, it's good you considered his feelings, and took some time to figure out what was going on with you. But I guess what you've figured out is sometimes you just have to go with it.

I don't think you've made a bad mistake at all, in other words.

I MEAN, IF I DID IT'S GONNA HURT HIM WORSE THAN IT HURTS ME. ALMOST ALWAYS DOES!

Bill...

I'M SERIOUS!

IF SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP, FORD'S STANDARDS ARE LITERALLY SO LOW HE'LL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT. I HAVE TO BE THE ONE THAT FIXES IT.

Okay but...

Do you think that's a really great way to go about starting back up with him? I mean, with the attitude that he needs fixing?

NO, HE DOESN'T. HE'S GRADUATED! BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE, AND PEOPLE GET HURT!

HE'LL KEEP FORGIVING ME, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME LESS WORRIED!

Whoa. Hey. Slow down. I called you because I think this is good for you. Stop borrowing trouble. It's okay.

OKAY...

[Bill does not do well when he doesn't have a plan, and have every part of that plan planned for with individual sub-plans.]

Look. I'm here for you, if you need to talk. But I think you're going to be okay. I really do believe in you two.

I, EH ... THANKS.

I HAD TO GIVE UP SOME STUFF FOR THIS, I REALLY HOPE IT'S GONNA BE WORTH IT.

Re: video

neverjoinyou - 2020-02-06 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

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