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[neverjoinyou]

Leave a message. I will hear you.

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[neverjoinyou]

He can't help a little smile at the bump. It's affectionate--Luke likes it, and gods know there's been little enough affection in his life lately.

"Thanks," he says, and it sounds genuine. "I feel better. I mean. I guess I don't know what it's like being dead, but it does seem difficult to come back from."

He shrugs, and they go, because I honestly don't know how that works which is weird because how long I've gone here, but as Luke looks around at the blasted, recovering terrain and turns to Bill. "How about you? Doing, I mean."

[tetractys]

"ANY TIME YOU DON'T EXIST IS BAD!"

Therefore anything you have to do to avoid it is preferable, Bill thinks.

By the time they get down, Bill is absently reaching into inventory he keeps above his tie for a spyglass. His fingers bounce off, and he huffs.

"OH, I'M ALWAYS FINE! DOING GREAT, ACTUALLY! HEY, ANY CHANCE YOU COULD GIVE BACK THE CLOSED TIME LOOP WHERE I STORE MY STUFF? I didn't even know that counted as a power..."

Having a closed time loop inside your face definitely counts as a power, it's just a stupid one.

[neverjoinyou]

Luke sighs.

"You know that most of us have to carry things we want, right?" he says. "I know it's hard. But maybe learning to think ahead would be good for you."

He's pretty sure that he won't get anywhere with Bill until 'I'm always fine' isn't the reply, but he's equally unsure how to get past it, without dying.

[tetractys]

"I THINK AHEAD," Bill protests. "I JUST DIDN'T - "

Plan for anyone but himself.

"I ALWAYS WORKED ALONE BEFORE."

[neverjoinyou]

Luke shakes his head sympathetically.

"Things change," he says softly. "I'm here to help you figure that out."

[tetractys]

"I'M STARTING TO THINK IF I HADN'T TOLD ANY OF YOU GUYS WE'D ALL BE IN A LOT LESS TROUBLE."

[neverjoinyou]

Luke raises an eyebrow.

"Nooo," he says slowly. "We'd just be 'in trouble' for different things. Honestly, I think the only reason I'm still your warden is you did tell me."

[tetractys]

Bill swivels.

"HUH? BUT YOU WOULDN'T BE CULPABLE."

How does this track?

[neverjoinyou]

Luke watches him for a moment.

"Do you think," he says finally, "that after all that, with what you put people through, that a warden who had not only let it happen but had had no idea it was going to happen at all would've been safe? I was allowed to come back because you told me. Because you trusted me."

[tetractys]

"I THINK I COULD HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU KNOWING! WITHOUT ANY WARDEN PAIRED WITH ME KNOWING! EVERYBODY'S ACTING LIKE YOU STOOD A CHANCE OF STOPPING ME."

That's some of what's getting under his skin. Like he wouldn't have gotten rid of anybody genuinely standing in his way, regardless of who they were.

[neverjoinyou]

Luke turns from surveying the blasted ground to face Bill squarely. "What's actually bothering you?" he asks. "That I got blamed--which I would have been, regardless of my knowing--or the idea that if you hadn't told me, maybe you'd have gotten away with it?"

[tetractys]

"I GOT AWAY WITH ENOUGH OF IT!"

He accomplished what he wanted to accomplish. He crosses his little arms.

"PEOPLE ARE BLAMING YOU MORE THAN THEY'RE BLAMING ME. BECAUSE THEY 'EXPECTED BETTER,' SUPPOSEDLY, BUT ACTUALLY IT'S BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!"

Bill jabs his finger forward.

"I DID IT! ME! I PLANNED THIS, I BUILT THE CANNON, I FOUND THE COORDINATES, I PROGRAMMED IT! I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS DOING, I'M - I'M CAPABLE OF KNOWING WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS WOULD BE! I THOUGHT IT THROUGH, I CHOSE IT, I DID IT, NOT YOU!"

He's built up a lot of steam by the end, frustrated shrieking. He's seen too many people acting like Bill is Luke's dog that went off his leash and bit someone, or that he's Luke's kid who broke something in a store - something that's not quite equal to being an independent person that should be expected to know right from wrong.

[neverjoinyou]

Oh. In a way, Luke is relieved--it's an actual emotion, related to what had happened, and it's about time for something like this to come out. So Luke sits on the ground, legs crossed, full attention on Bill.

"They're blaming me," he says quietly, "for trusting you. In their eyes, erroneously. Because, yeah. You did this. You made this choice. And you are responsible for what happened. They're mad at me not because they don't think you understand, but because they don't think you care."

[tetractys]

"WAIT, WHY ARE WE SITTING, DON'T SIT..."

That implies we're gonna be here talking about this for awhile instead of never talking about this!

"I DON'T CARE. IF I'D TAKEN THE OPTION OF COOPERATING AWAY THEY WOULDN'T BE MAD AT YOU. AND I COULD HAVE!"

[neverjoinyou]

"Of course they'd be mad at me!" Luke says forcefully. "What do you think they'd've done to a warden who never noticed any of that? No matter how good you are, how smart, it's my job. A warden who can't do his job is not a warden for long. So where would you be?"

[tetractys]

"TONS OF WARDENS ARE BAD AT THEIR JOBS, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. YOU DON'T GET DEMOTED UNLESS YOU KILL SOMEBODY."

He's not convinced here.

"I'D BE FINE, AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN KILLED!"

Obviously the solution is to take more choices away from people so they can't hurt themselves.

[neverjoinyou]

"You're not listening," Luke says, still patient though Bill's starting to eat away at his store of that. "First of all, I don't mind having died. Not for a good cause. I'm okay. I'm fine." He sighs. "And the only reason people think you're worth keeping on this ship is the fact you did say something. You spoke to me, I listened. We have a connection. This would be a lot worse for all of us if you hadn't.

"So why don't you tell me what your real problem is?"

[tetractys]

Bill throws out his arms, exasperated.

"YEAH, OKAY! I MIND THAT YOU DIED! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

[neverjoinyou]

"It's what happens when you get hit with a ton of energy!" he almost snaps.

[tetractys]

"I KNOW THAT! WHY DID YOU JUMP IN? I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO!"

[neverjoinyou]

"Because it's what I do!" Luke does snap this time, staring at Bill like the answer is so goddamn obvious he's amazed he's even having the conversation. "Because you were in danger and it's my job to protect you!"

[tetractys]

"NO, NO!"

Bill starts pacing, hands tucked behind his back and flying in tight little ovals.

"I HAD IT HANDLED. THE SITUATION WAS UNDER CONTROL!"

[neverjoinyou]

"No," Luke says firmly, "it wasn't. You don't control me. You don't control my actions or my desires. Or my... my instincts. And my instinct is to protect those I care about. Is it a good instinct? I don't know--it's definitely not a survivalist one. But it's who I am. I didn't set out to die, that day, Bill. And it hurt. And I might not have come back. But I can't say I wouldn't do it again, because I did what felt right at the time."

[tetractys]

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN HAD TO!"

[neverjoinyou]

"Why? Because you should've gotten away with it? You didn't. You upset people, you made a choice, and they made a choice to come after you. That's just how it is, Bill, and how it happened. Even you can't foresee every outcome. Sometimes things go better than we plan, sometimes worse. But there's always a variable you can't predict or control."